Illustration by Henry Chamberlain. What A Tangled Web We Weave When First We Practice To Deceive!
Maybe you’ll never read the Mueller Report. Well, don’t feel too bad.
Many a House Democrat hopes that Americans may finally be convinced that there is overwhelming evidence that Trump should be frog-marched out of office byway of the Mueller Report. They believe that if only Americans read the report or even a Cliff Notes version or maybe even seeing the big man himself forced to testify about his own report that then a collective light bulb would go off across the land. Well, there’s an even easier way to achieve that eureaka moment. Just go see the new Spider-Man movie.
Illustration by Henry Chamberlain. What supervillain would Bill Barr be? Doctor Octopus?
Nothing hits a person harder than to be betrayed by someone that they’ve grown to trust. Just think of this magical connection that Trump has with his base of supporters. It’s pure magic, right? Well, Spider-Man develops a bond with Mysterio in this new movie: one raw talent finds a mentor in a mature and seasoned superhero from another world. Pure magic! And then Mysterio delivers the greatest cut of all. He not only totally betrays Spider-Man’s trust, he proves to be a master of deception who doesn’t care who he hurts since he sees everyone as more than willing to be decieved. If only Mysterio could be impeached!
Illustration by Henry Chamberlain. Trump Demands Loyalty from Comey.
Well, there’s no impeaching Mysterio or even sadly hoping he’ll just go away with the next election cycle. Mysterio is around for as long as he wants striking fear over and over again. You gotta wonder if Trump finds anything useful in the Mysterio playbook. Mysterio and Trump would get along. Heck, they’re both already sharing from the same dictator playbook: strike fear, sow distrust, promise everything, discard any rules or sense of decency. If that were crystal clear to citizens, they’d want a guy like that out of office pronto, right?
Illustration by Henry Chamberlain. Lots and Lots of Fire and Fury!
And then the house lights go up and the movie is over. Mysterio is only fiction, right?
You know you want to read it.
Gee, if you had a guy like Mysterio running the country, it would make sense to impeach him, wouldn’t it? People wouldn’t just pretend there wasn’t a problem, would they? Well, truth is always stranger than fiction.
Today, Barr testified/spun before Congress. A perfect example: Sen. Dianne Feinstein asked Attorney General William Barr what is it about Trump ordering his White House counsel Don McGahn to fire Mueller (as well as demanding that McGahn lie that Trump had ever asked to fire Mueller) that is not obstruction of justice. Barr’s response was to spin a picture of Trump, with his brilliant legal mind, requesting a closer look at Mueller’s conflict of interest; and Trump never outright made such a crude demand as saying, “Fire Mueller!” Huh? Which is more likely, that Trump was simply expressing a legal opinion or that he barked out what he wanted? Feinstein followed up with the question: “So, what was the conflict of interest?” Barr never ever answered that question! He proceeded to tap dance byway of speaking on legal theory to run out the clock. And that is just one example of Barr’s technique. Don’t expect Don McGahn to ever get a chance to testify himself. If he does, that would be well worth seeing.
Meet Trump’s New Fixer: The Attorney General of the United States. Illustration by Henry Chamberlain.
Working for Trump is not the first time that Attorney General William Barr has been called upon to clean up a mess. Barr had the very same job of Attorney General under George H.W. Bush where he presided over making the Iran-Contra scandal fade away. Papa Bush, with Barr’s whole-hearted support, pardoned six key people from the Reagan administration who were involved, including former Defense Secretary Caspar Weinberger.
If Barr saw no problem in absolving players in Iran-Contra, one of the biggest scandals since Watergate, then he certainly has no problem in helping to somehow make the Mueller report go away; clear Trump & Co. of any and all charges; and just perform his role as a smug little henchman doing his master’s bidding.